But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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