Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
