I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
