I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
