I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize