K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
