She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
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