think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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