At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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