i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
