That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
