Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
