just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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