why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
