I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
