Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
