Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
