This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
