Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
he puts the penis in happiness.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
