I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
my shit smells like andre
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
