brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
