were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
As shirtless as possible
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I touched a dick in church today
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
