**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Randomize