dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
it's like heaven, but drunker
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize