No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
