I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
