dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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