Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i came on her dog
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
