I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
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