I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
