can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
How external is "for external use only"?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Randomize
