Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Do you remember whose house we're in?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
