"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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