i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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