I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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