ya dads aren't the best wingmen
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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