i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Randomize
