wakey wakey hands off snakey
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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