is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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