apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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