we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
