Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
