someone get that fucking seahorse.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
