drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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