if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
