Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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