it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
