But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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