You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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