just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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