i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
