I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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