i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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