Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
she smelled like a LAN party
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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