Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
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