Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
