She's JV to your varsity
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
