Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I have tasted many bathrooms
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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