I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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