it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
