I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
The best revenge is premature balding
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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