Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
