Buhtt sex?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
it's great music for shaving your balls
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
