jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I just made out with a guy for $7.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize