I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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