oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
