So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
