I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Rumble strips road head = magical
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
